The Ministry Explains It All: London's Top 5 Museum Dates for Valentine's

Valentine’s Day is rapidly approaching, and we know the number one thought on your mind is, ‘how do I pick the perfect museum date?’ Because, let’s be honest, museums are absolutely amazing for dates. They are usually free, often quiet, you can show of about something you know, or learn something new together. Basically a trip to one of London’s many fantastic museums plus the all-important gift of chocolate is the safest bet for a successful Valentine’s. If you need some inspiration about what museum best suits your sweetheart, don’t worry the Ministry has got it covered. 

1) There will always be difficulty in choosing a winner, so we have cheated slightly and picked one of our favourite places that isn’t a museum- the Dennis Severs House. We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again, the atmospheric historic home/art project that is 18 Folgate Street cannot be beat from romance potential. Go for one of their Silent Night Visits (Mondays and Wednesdays £14) and explore the house by candle light. The experience of walking through the reconstructed rooms in silence is very intimate, although maybe an idea best left for a trip with a date you already like. After you’ve drunk in the scented atmosphere of the past, get drunk in the more conventional sense at the nearby Water Poet. http://www.dennissevershouse.co.uk/

2) Maybe we just find candlelight romantic, but we can’t help but think of the Sir John Soane Museum as the next logical choice for a date night. Unfortunately the Soane’s famous candlelit evenings are the 1^st Tuesday of the month (the 4^th of February in this case) but that's not to say it's not a good bet even in the daytime. The museum is still a great date location in the day and particularly in the late afternoons when the light is softer. Get lost with your date amongst the relics of past civilisations with plenty of discrete corners for a quick snog. Plus if your Valentine has a mind for design they’ll love the pop up exhibition ‘Cities and Other Ruins’ running until the 15^th. Holborn has plenty of excellent pubs for a drink after, try the Ship or the Princess Louise. http://www.soane.org/

3) If you are up for a different sort of evening entirely, why not see what your Valentine is made of and take them just across the way to the Hunterian Museum. While spending some time strolling amongst jars of picked people parts may not suit everyone’s tastes, it certainly is a different sort of date for the more morbidly curious. What isn’t romantic about a reflection on life and death through the ages? Not for the faint of heart but certainly a change of pace for those adverse to the more soppy side of the holiday. Recover at the cosy Seven Stars or if it’s too full the Knights Templar. www.hunterianmuseum.org

4) For a more conventional sort of Valentine, do what every young hip Londoner does and take them to the Tate Modern. The Turbine Hall and the Tanks make great locations for your next coupley Facebook picture. Brush up a bit of art history and wow your paramour with your knowledge and cultural prowess (yes dahhhling it’s all about de Chirico). Or for pop art lovers book ahead for the Richard Hamilton retrospective opening on the 13^th. Added bonus: the permanent displays are free and the gallery is open until 10am on Friday the 14^th! When you are done slink off to the South Bank for people watching, or to make it a really special night book a table at the restaurant. http://www.tate.org.uk/visit/tate-modern

5) For a more off-beat date head to the British Library. Even if it might remind you of your school days, you’ll be quickly won over by the stunning building and the aesthetics glass-panelled stacks. You’ll have a chance to see their fantastic ‘Georgians Revealed’ exhibition and revel in the antics of our over-the-top 18^th century predecessors. Once you are overloaded with your love of books and Georgian celebrity culture, live the high life yourself by heading over to St. Pancras’ Searcys Champagne Bar. Impress your date and order ‘The Grand’ – champagne cocktail that includes 24 carat gold leaf. Thank us later. http://www.bl.uk/

Just for an added bonus- if you want to get out of central, head north to the newly refurbished Kenwood House for a calm oasis of art, architecture and landscape in Hampstead Heath. Hold hands in front of the Turners or admire the Moores in the garden. The vaulted Robert Adam Library is a must for book-lovers. Or maybe you are so loved up you won’t notice your surroundings at all, who are we to judge? Why not make a day of it and take a walk, enjoy the house and book a table at the quaint Spaniards Inn. Snuggle up next to the fire with a pint and maybe a ghost or two. Ah, sounds the perfect Ministry Valentine’s Day.

http://www.english-heritage.org.uk/daysout/properties/kenwood/

My History Valentine: An Ode to Mrs. Beeton

In the last of our #historyvalentine series, Ministry member Laura waxes romantic about that icon of domesticity, Mrs. Beeton (completely in verse no less).

Ode to Mrs Beeton

A love-letter to good taste and sweet ordering…

Some say it was just lucky
You were wedded to a spouse
Who happened to own and operate
His own publishing house.

Too many dull historians
(Most of whom are male)
Discount your work as trivial

A trifling travail.

But it is a masterpiece

That no home should be without

After all, what modern girl

Could make so many meals from trout?!

Although she only lived to 28, her legacy
lives on in this ode

All your modern copycats

Are better left unread

It can’t be called a cookbook

Without a page on quadrupeds.

And as for being topical,

Your work has stayed the course

There is an entire chapter

On what to do with horse.

Who among us doesn’t love

A brunch of Plover’s eggs

Followed by Dutch Flummery

Or curried Lobster legs?

And you’re strong on family harmony

Your well-reasoned discourse

Prevents a mal-cooked Parrot Pie

From ending in divorce

But if it does go horribly wrong

You thought of all that too

It might not have been explicit

But you showed us what to do.

A husband struck with Manflu

(Or ‘Concussion of the Brain’)

Treated with lead and camphor pills

Will never moan again!

Or if a restless child

Is keeping you up at night

Some Calomel and Opium

Should set the noisy bugger right.

 
And so to Isabella
Who taught our Nans and Mums
And who, now that the world has changed
Will begin to teach our sons

I write a simple ode of thanks
For your well-read kitchen file
I may not like your forcemeat balls,
But I bloody love your style.

Laura is an accidental historical geographer, scholar of the Victorian home and urban forager. Follow her on twitter @tweetingbogart

My Modern Valentine: To Katy Perry from Sir Henry Wellcome (1853-1936)

Love struck Wellcome

In order to diversify our #historyvalentine blog series, we thought we would ask recently re-animated historic figure Sir Henry Wellcome (early 20th century collector and pharmaceutical entrepreneur) to write in about a modern woman he fancies. This is what we received:

Dear Katy, 

I wonder if I might trouble you to be my Valentine? I am not a man to waste time, nor to prevaricate, and I therefore expect you to arrive on the next Aeroplane to arrive at the London Heathrow Airport. I will send a car for you, emblazoned with the manly Wellcome Unicorn.  

For your reference, very manly

I realise this must feel like an incredible honour to you: To be selected as the new wife of a reanimated pharmaceutical philanthropist is a dream of many young women, and you have probably never dared to hope that it might become a reality. I would ask you not to dwell on the fact for too long, as I can't bear a woman with an inflated sense of her own importance. 

The moment I saw you I knew that you were right for me. Like you I had a strongly conservative Christian upbringing, and eventually escaped it into a world where I am surrounded by pharmaceuticals. Like you I initially worked with a number of business partners who did not make my vision sufficiently central to the shared endeavour, but who I later shedded as I moved into the most successful stage of my career. The mangy cur Silas Burroughs was in many ways my Columbia Records - short-sighted, wrong-headed and unable to appreciate genius. 

The object of Henry's
(fairly sexist) affections

I have also selected you because unlike my first wife Syrie you appreciate the value of international travel, in my case to find artefacts and in yours to practice your art. I very much look forward to accompanying you on ventures such as VH1 Divas Support the Troops, where I hope to acquire many objects from the fascinating cultures within which the USA currently wages war. I regret the decision of the Trustees of my Foundation to surrender so much Mid-Eastern material to the British Museum, but will soon replenish it from Iraq, Afghanistan, Libya and the like. 

Unlike Syrie you already appreciate the folly of shacking-up with an "artistic" man (how I curse the usurper Maugham!) and are clearly now looking for someone more traditional, more conservative and more manly than the man/woman/orang-utan hybrid known as Russell Brand. 

I look forward to your telegraphed acceptance, and to us arranging a swift marriage. We will not remain Engagement Fellows (http://www.wellcome.ac.uk/Funding/Public-engagement/Funding-schemes/Engagement-Fellowships/index.htm) for long! 

Yours etc,

Sir Henry S. Wellcome FRS FRCS MCRP*

*=Member of the Council of Re-animated Pharmacists

Follow Henry on Twitter @Henry_Wellcome

My History Valentine: John Hunter (1728-1793), surgeon, anatomist,badass

Dearest John,

It is difficult for me to write down these words, even though I know the fact you have been dead since 1793 will impede your ability to read them. At this time of the year when we celebrate love, I find myself sadly underwhelmed by the modern men around me. I know romance probably wasn’t your forte in life, but maybe in death you will be more sympathetic to my love.

Just look at him thinking about how many bodies he could
have cut up in the time it took to sit for his portrait.

I only wish I could have met you. I know you probably never thought yourself much of a romantic with your difficulty speaking to others, your crazy eyebrows, your short neck, or the fact that you probably have syphilis, but I still feel drawn to you. In fact if we ever had met, maybe in the dissecting room... well you probably would have just shouted at me to get out because I am a woman and also because you are famously very rude. But it is that fervor and your unwavering honesty that make you so special to me.

In a world where most men I know spend hours playing video games, you were up by five am in the dissecting room, working through the day teaching or with patients. You questioned where others accepted. Your innovations in dentistry, transplantation and the treatment of gunshot wounds are legendary. In fact, I think we can safely argue you, my love, one handedly revolutionised surgery and undoubtably have saved millions of lives, even if you didn’t quite get that whole antiseptic thing. The fact that even modern surgeons don’t know who you are makes me weep. Ignorant sots.

When I think back on your life, there are so many things I love about you. Say it’s right or wrong, but I found your whole grave robbing phase so sexy. Your habit of riding asian buffalos into town is nothing short of pimpin’. And I’ll never forget your testimony at the murder trial of John Donellan. When lesser men were quick to accuse him of poison just because they needed someone to blame, you never backed down from your faultless examination of the forensic evidence. Sure they may have condemned him for the murder of his brother in law, but your badass-ness cannot be denied.

My darling you remain one of histories great enigmas: brilliant surgeon, body snatcher, naturalist, military man, Scot, industrious anatomist, really crappy teacher, and fairly unethical experimenter on non-consenting patients. I forgive you your faults because your brilliant mind makes me hot. Although we can never meet, at least I can still be amongst your collection at the Hunterian Museum in London (not that one in Glasgow, you are way cooler than your brother).

Let’s maybe let this love between us stay an intellectual one, that whole you giving yourself syphilis thing is still a bit of a deal breaker.

With all my love for Valentine’s day,

Kristin

If you also want to fall in love with John Hunter, I’d recommend reading Wendy Moore’s 'The Knife Man: Blood, Body-Snatching and the Birth of Modern Surgery'

Or to learn more about poisoning and early forensic science, you could try Elizabeth Cooke’s ‘The Damnation of John Donellan: A mysterious case of death and scandal in Georgian England’